Known, Open-ID or Anonymous Donor: What It Means for Your Child

What's the difference?

A known donor is someone whose identity is known to the family. An open-ID or identity-release donor agrees to identifying information becoming available under specified conditions, often in adulthood. Anonymous donation originally limits identifying information. None of these labels guarantees a relationship, and DNA testing means anonymity cannot be assured.

The same label can mean different things across clinics and countries. Check your records rather than assuming “open” means regular contact or “anonymous” means no genetic relatives can ever be found. Information access and expectations about relationships need their own conversations.

How do I tell the story if we used a known donor?

Name the donor’s role in conception separately from their everyday relationship with your family. Explain which sperm, egg, or embryo donation was involved and use the name your child knows. Being a friend or relative does not determine how your child must feel; let their questions guide further conversations.

You might say, “Alex provided the sperm that joined with the egg to make you.” Then explain how Alex is part of your lives today, without inventing a parental role or denying the genetic connection. Adults can discuss expectations and boundaries while keeping the child’s needs central.

How do I tell the story if we used an open-ID donor?

Explain the donation now, then describe the information that may become available later under your family’s arrangement. Open-ID usually concerns access to identity, not a promise of a meeting or ongoing contact. Keep records, check the actual conditions, and welcome your child’s interest without deciding what a future relationship should mean.

You might say, “We have some information about the donor now. When you are older, the program may let you ask for their name.” Use the actual age and rules in your paperwork. A donor may not respond to contact, and learning an identity can bring several feelings at once.

How do I tell the story if we used an anonymous donor?

Share the donation facts and the donor information you have, then say honestly what you do not know. Anonymous describes the original arrangement, not a certainty that identity can never be found. DNA tests or relatives’ matches may reveal connections, so leave room for future information without promising discovery or contact.

You might say, “The sperm came from a donor. We do not have their name, but here is what we do know.” Avoid describing an unknown donor as kind, nice, or special. It is okay to acknowledge that missing information may feel frustrating or important to your child.

Does donor type affect how kids turn out?

A 2025 study of 70 offspring of lesbian parents found no statistically significant differences in measured behavioral outcomes by donor type or donor contact. Participants were followed into their early thirties. That finding is specific to a small cohort; it does not prove all arrangements have identical effects for everyone.

The National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study compared known, anonymous, and open-identity donor groups. Its sample was 90% White, which limits how broadly findings can be applied. Psychological measures also cannot capture every question about identity, medical history, or relationships. Read the full study and our research page for context.

What changes when my child turns 18?

Turning 18 may allow a donor-conceived person to request identifying information under some laws or identity-release programs, but there is no universal rule. Eligibility depends on where treatment happened, when donation occurred, and the arrangement. Access to information is different from consent to contact or an ongoing relationship.

In the UK, qualifying post-April 2005 donations generally allow requests for identifying donor information at 18. Other places and programs have different rules. Review the relevant records and current guidance with your child, allowing them to decide whether and when to explore the options.

Leo Asks Big Questions leaves room for families to add their own donor details.